How I work with you and your baby

You don't need to do anything special or perform. We're not looking for perfect parenting moments — we're looking for your moments. The ones that are already there, happening every day in the ordinary rhythm of feeding, settling, playing, and getting through the morning.

Here's what that looks like in practice.

With your permission, I'll film a short snippet of you and your baby together — just a few minutes of everyday interaction. That's all it takes. Then we watch it back together, and I show you something you probably haven't been able to see before: the moments where you're already doing it. The turn of your head when your baby makes a sound. The pause you give before you speak. The way your baby stills when they hear your voice.

These moments go by in a heartbeat in real life. On video, we can slow them right down and really look at them together.

About the video footage

Marte Meo uses short clips of ordinary interaction to make attunement visible. Before we film anything, I'll explain what I'm recording and why, and we'll only proceed with your clear consent.

The footage stays on my secure device and is used only for our work together in session. It is not shared with anyone else without your explicit consent, and it is deleted when no longer needed for your care. If footage were ever used for professional supervision or training, that would only happen with your separate written consent — and we would talk about it clearly beforehand.

For more on how your information is handled, see the privacy policy.

Why video? Why not just talk about it?

Because what you hear about yourself and what you see about yourself are completely different things.

Most parents come in carrying a story about themselves — that they're getting it wrong, that they're missing something, that their baby somehow deserves better. Talking about parenting can sometimes reinforce that story, because it stays in the realm of words and opinions and worry.

Seeing yourself on screen — seeing the moment your baby looks up at you and you're already looking back — that lands differently. It's evidence. It's yours. It's not me telling you you're doing well; it's you seeing it for yourself.

If you're in the middle of matrescence — the profound shift of becoming a parent — your sense of self may already feel tender and uncertain. The last thing you need is another opinion about who you should be. What you need is a clear reflection of who you already are — and what's already alive between you and your baby.

What am I actually looking for?

I'm watching for the moments of connection — what in Marte Meo we call developmentally supportive interaction. Things like:

• Following your baby's lead — noticing what captures their attention and meeting them there, rather than redirecting or entertaining. When you turn toward what your baby is looking at and name it softly, you're telling them: your interests matter. I see you.
• Naming what's happening — putting simple words to what your baby is doing gives them something profound: the experience of being understood before they even have language to ask for it.
• Attentive waiting — the quiet pause where you give your baby space to respond, to initiate, to have an idea. These moments build self-confidence at the deepest level — the felt sense that I have something to offer. Someone is interested in me.
• Leading gently — part of what we look at together is how you help your baby navigate structure and transitions in a way that feels safe rather than pressured.

None of this is technique. It's your relationship, made visible.

What changes?

When you start to see yourself through this lens, something shifts. You stop scanning for what's going wrong and start noticing what's already working. You begin to read your baby's cues with more confidence — not because I've given you a manual, but because you've seen the evidence of your own attunement, again and again, until it becomes something you trust.

Often, the video shows you capacities you hadn't yet let yourself believe in. And the ripple goes both ways. When a parent feels seen and capable, their baby feels it too. The relationship between your emotional state and your baby's sense of security is one of the most well-evidenced connections in infant development. This work holds both of you.

A note on what this isn't

This isn't about watching yourself to find what you're doing wrong. I only ever bring back clips that show connection, warmth, and capability — because those are the moments that teach. Correction doesn't build confidence. Seeing your own strengths, clearly and concretely, does.

You come in as the expert on your baby. I come in as someone who knows what to look for and how to show it back to you. That's the whole thing.

Marte Meo — from the Latin meaning "on one's own strength" — is a developmental support method developed by Maria Aarts and used internationally through Marte Meo International. I am a certified Marte Meo practitioner.